Ode to Gateway

I did not decide to write you in the beginning.
even though you were
always there, this I know
that I decide to place you
with words.

I do regret not saving all the disregarded parts of you,
for those were only deemed unworthy by my own doubt
and conditioning.

I should have kept them.
Celebrated them,
the failures
because they’re a part of you.
and I did you wrong.

this is not a naval-gazing exercise;
a boring introspection.
Rather, its an ode to you,

I want to thank you,

I’m not sure why I cant memorise you.
Remember and recite you

I have tried to perform

I have tried.

I wanted to print your name
on enormous banners
that would be displayed on the facade of a building.
You know the one,
the University.
Draped high between pillars,
in text black and white
for the world to view.

But this was my lesson you see,
It was not what you wanted to be.

Genevieve Louw (2017).

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